A story from today and a process that God is working through me:

This process actually started a few days back when my friend Kari asked me, “Yo, are you trying out for the Olympics? Should I have a team Mallory shirt?”…

Except for the team Mallory shirt (which is an idea I think could really become a money maker 😉 ), this is not the first time I have been asked this question recently.  And I realized that I have never come out and said what my goals are for this season: at least not to everyone, and definitely not on here, where anyone who wants too can read them.

Sometimes it can be a scary thing to say out loud, or write about publically, a goal or a dream that finds itself deeply rooted inside our heart.  There is a fear that if it is said, and it doesn’t happen…. well… then… somehow you’ve failed, and therefore that makes you a failure.  This fear comes from a misunderstanding of who we are, what our purpose is, and where our worth comes from.  Our worth is not wrapped up in what we achieve, but who we serve.

Let me explain.

If my worth is found in how I perform, what does it say about me on a day that I fail to make a bar?  If your worth is found in the job that you have worked so hard to attain, what happens on the day you are let go?  If our worth is found in how good of a father or mother you have been, what happens on the day when your child makes a bad decision?  On the best of days we find ourselves on top of the world, but on the worst of days our worth is stripped from us, and we feel nakedly ashamed of being a failure.  It’s a constant battle.

God desires more for us.  More than a win, more than a loss, more than a good job, more than a perfect family, more than the biggest dream we can accomplish.  He desires for us to live in a way that brings Him glory whether the goal is achieved or not.  My coach said to me this afternoon, “You had worth long before you picked up a pole”.  And I’m here to pass along that truth.  YOUR worth was established even before you walked your first step on this earth.

During our lunchtime session today, my coach and I got to talking about this whole concept.  He didn’t know what I had written this morning, but he made this comment: that sometimes, when I am competing, it’s as if I am performing with an underlying fear of failure, rather than with an excitement of the possibility of success.  Here is what I had written not more than 2 hours earlier… “Every time I think about the dream, I get an excitement inside, and at some point my dream will become greater than my fear of failure, and I will make it my goal”.  I am here to tell you that my excitement over the possibility of success is greater than my fear of failure.

My goal: To build a platform to make a change in others lives.
My goal: To make an Olympic Trials standard.

Whether reached or not, my worth is not found in the outcome, but in the God I serve and who He has designed me to be in the process.  It’s time to re-evaluate.  How will I go about having conversations with others?  How will I go about coaching? How will I go about training?  How will I go about competing?

With the fear of failure?

No.

There is too much possibility for success.